Sunday, September 24, 2006

The LUCKIEST musicians ever!

Ok. This is a continuation of the comments that were started in the Angels and Airwaves post. Let's start where we left off.

Here we go.

A list of the luckiest musicians ever!!

Great.

Well, we all know that number is the one and only...

1. Michael Anthony - he is the luckiest musician ever and may very well qualify for the luckiest human being ever...in the whole history of existence. And I don't think I'm exaggerating.

2. Krist Novoselic - The bass player from Nirvana. This guy sucks. Interesting that this list is beginning with bass players.

3. The bass player from Rush - an obvious no brainer. The lead singer should just learn how to play bass and then just play it. They would be much better off. Oh and the guitar player sucks too. So does the singer and the keyboard player. Drummer sucks too.

4. Duff - Guns 'N Roses bass player - and the bass player's list continues. His luck ended though when he was kicked out.

5. Linda McCartney - because she married a Beatle and got to play in big shows with Wings, skipping the "paying your dues as a musician" part and going straight to the source and then promptly fucking that source and bearing it's children. I kid the late LInda McCartney because I actually kind of like her. What did she ever do to me? Still, she was very lucky...until the cancer took her life.

6. Denny Laine - another Wings alumnus. He did nothing before, during, or after Wings. I think Paul McCartney lost a bet or something.

7. Sean Lennon - for being born John Lennon's son. Granted he did a pretty good rendition of the Beatle's song on that show but still....

8. Yoko Ono - these lucky people seem to come in groups here. She took a play straight out of the Linda McCartney playbook and boy did she milk that one. Again, like Linda, very lucky...until John Lennon was killed...and even then, perhaps even more so, very lucky.

9. Steve Nieve - he's actually a good musician but let's face it, if he hadn't met Elvis Costello, no one would know who he is. He surely wouldn't be playing the venues he's playing now.

10. Tina Weymouth - I like her bass playing, she definitely has her own, albeit simplistic style but still we have to go back to the increasingly unoriginal formula of lucky bass players.

11. Jerry Harrison and Chris Frantz - They would definitely be nothing without David Byrne, although I have to give Jerry Harrison a little more credit because he would have some sort of presence in the emerging new waving music movement anyway, because he's that type of guy. Still, he's lucky.

12. Kip Winger - He made his money and then got out. Very lucky. Who knows what he's doing now and who cares. Lucky fucker.

13. The Indian guy who plays bass for the Eagles. Very lucky fucker. Although he sang that song "I can't tell you why" so he gets a little cred, but still, come. He defintely goes into the Lucky Fucker category. And yet another bass player graces the list.

14. Johnny Guitar Watson - with album titles like "
A Real Mother For you" and "Beyond the call of funk", I guess he isn't lucky. That's all skill, baby. All skill. Still, I know who he is so he's lucky.

15. Blink-182 - I have to disagree with Mike here and say that they're very fucking lucky because they very much do suck.

16. The drummer from Smashmouth - Even he's scratching his head going "God, I was lucky for like nine months." But now, he's not very lucky. No, it's kind of sad actually.

Let us add to the list, gentlemen.

This is funny: Dave Barry's Worst Songs Other Hits